


i like me better when i'm with you

by sodelicate



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Soft feelings, Team Bonding, Volleyball Dorks in Love, a lot of sun metaphors and similes bc hinata, but he doesn't know how to express them, kageyama has a lot of soft feelings, mild potty mouth kags warrants a 'teen' rating, or group therapy session, who knows when it comes to karasuno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 03:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16736121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodelicate/pseuds/sodelicate
Summary: "Kageyama doesn’t see the point of this, but he’s not one to disobey Suga. He reluctantly shuffles to the circle and plops himself down next to Hinata, feeling distinctly like he’s at some support group he doesn’t need.'So,' Suga says, folding his hands over his lap pleasantly. Damn it, Kageyama really can’t stay annoyed at him. 'How this works is that we’re gonna say one thing we like about ourselves. Who would like to go first?'"Kageyama has never liked himself much, until he meets Hinata. It takes a team bonding/group therapy session organised by Sugawara for him to realise this.





	i like me better when i'm with you

**Author's Note:**

> this is based on an [anonymous request i got on tumblr!](https://hqissodelicate.tumblr.com/post/180471590337/kagehina-song-lyric-i-like-me-better-when-im) the prompt was: "KageHina. song lyric: i like me better when i'm with you". the song is ['i like me better' by Lauv](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcqxLCWn-CE), and i decided to cross-post this on AO3 from tumblr. enjoy!

Kageyama blames Suga and his idea of a ‘team-bonding activity’.

 _This is stupid,_  he gripes to himself. They should be practising, instead of sitting around and talking fluff—the Spring High Preliminaries are right around the corner, after all, and they really don’t have any time to waste.

“Do we  _have_ to do this?” Tsukishima drawls boredly, and for once Kageyama agrees with him. Normally, he holds his motherly vice-captain in high esteem, but this—this is just plain stupid.

“Now, now,” Suga chides. “You know why we have to do this. With a big tournament right around the corner, and considering what happened in the last tournament we participated in, we all need a confidence boost in ourselves. If we’re not confident in ourselves, how can we play at our best? Now, Tsukishima, Kageyama, please join the rest of us in the circle.”

Kageyama doesn’t see the point of this, but he’s not one to disobey Suga. He reluctantly shuffles to the circle and plops himself down next to Hinata, feeling distinctly like he’s at some support group he doesn’t need.

“So,” Suga says, folding his hands over his lap pleasantly. Damn it, Kageyama really can’t stay annoyed at him. “How this works is that we’re gonna say one thing we like about ourselves. Who would like to go first?”

“Me, me!” Nishinoya yells, practically bouncing up and down in place. “What I like about me is that I’m LOUD! So people will never have to worry about not being able to hear me!”

“That's… very fitting of you, Noya,” Suga says diplomatically. “Next, Daichi?”

And so, they go around the circle, each person saying one quality they like about themselves. Daichi likes his reliability, Tanaka prides himself on his manliness, and Asahi takes some enthusiastic convincing from Nishinoya that “Yes, Asahi-san, you have many amazing qualities!” before he stammers out something about his gentleness. Suga cites his caring nature as his strength. Hinata chirps about his friendliness, while Tsukishima sneers about being smarter than the other dimwits on the team (eliciting angry growls from said dimwits), and Yamaguchi shyly mumbles something about being hardworking, and so on and so forth until it’s finally Kageyama’s turn.

“Well, Kageyama?” Daichi prompts.

“If you’re shy, you can just say one thing,” Nishinoya adds. “But there’s no need to be shy about it! Just get it out there in the world—be proud of yourself, man!”

Kageyama opens his mouth to answer, but then he pauses. What  _does_ he like about himself?

This conundrum is because—well, Kageyama will never admit it out loud but when he was growing up, he never quite liked who he was.

Things were fine when he was a wee toddler at home, but something must’ve gone wrong when he was being raised (or maybe there was just something inherently wrong with who he was as a person and so he shouldn’t blame his parents). The problem started when he entered preschool, and he realised he never quite knew how to talk properly to others. He tried approaching some kids at the playground, but they ran away crying, saying something about his face being scary.

 _I’m not trying to be scary,_  he thought sadly to himself. He just wanted to make a friend or two. 

He sat in the corner of the classroom, feeling horribly isolated when he saw his classmates eating and playing together, like he was an outsider looking throughaa thick plane of glass into a world where everyone else knew how to talk and socialise and not make intimidating faces at others.

Things were pretty much the same in elementary school. He ate alone during lunch, sat alone on the bus, sat alone in class. No one wanted to be near the guy with the scary face he couldn’t help but have.

 _I don’t care,_  he told himself. Maybe if he didn’t care about what others thought of him, the loneliness wouldn’t bother him so much. Not caring was his shell, protecting him from bouts of loneliness when he saw other people getting along like a house on fire. Or maybe it was just denial. Who knew?

Things were a little different when he went to middle school, primarily because of volleyball.

For the first time, he experienced a lasting feeling of something that wasn’t anger, hurt or loneliness when playing volleyball. He loved volleyball, he was good at volleyball, and he loved that he was good at what he loved. Every day, during any free time he could get, he would get his ball out and practise, practise and practise. He fell in love with the thrill of finally being able to get the ball to where he wanted it to go; he savoured it like it was the world’s rarest and sweetest honey.

But even that was ruined for him. In his euphoria of practising volleyball and becoming excellent at it, he wasn’t aware that not everyone was like him. At that time, he thought them to be lazy, but later—much later—he would learn that he had something called talent, and unfortunately not everyone had it.

“Your tosses are too fast!”

“How can you expect us to attack and score points if we can’t even hit your sets?”

“Then move faster and work harder, damn it,” he snarled, frustrated. Why didn’t they get it? Why didn’t they get  _him?_  Why did no one get him? Even in the world of volleyball, in the world of the sport he loved so much, he was still isolated from the rest.

“This is ridiculous. We don’t want a setter like you. We don’t want to play with the King of the Court, whose tosses we can’t keep up with.”

“Yeah, we don’t want to play with someone who bosses us around like he’s so great!”

 _And whose fault is it that you idiots can’t keep up?_  he thought bitterly to himself.

But secretly, he wondered—was that really the case? Was that really the reason why nobody liked, or even understood, him?

When he was taken off the court during a match, he sat and watched forlornly by the sidelines. He saw how well the other setter clicked with the spikers, and it gnawed at him. The guy didn’t have his skill, but he did have what Kageyama didn’t: his teammates’ trust and support. They liked him. They didn’t like Kageyama.

And Kageyama wasn’t sure if he liked himself.

But things changed drastically when he met Hinata. Meeting Hinata in Karasuno’s gym was like witnessing the sun rise above the dark clouds, bathing the once-gloomy world below it in its warm light.

For the first time in his whole life, Kageyama finally felt understood. Sure, they're about as different as night and day, but what mattered was that Hinata got him and his love for volleyball—and, most importantly, he could keep up with him. He possessed never-ending faith in each and every one of Kageyama’s sets. Wherever Kageyama tossed, Hinata would be there, ready to drive that point home.

It’s not just that. Thanks to Hinata and the others' influence, Kageyama was able to click with this team. The rest of them might not get him the way Hinata did, but they worked hard to keep up with him, instead of just standing around and complaining about him.

And, for the first time, Kageyama finally started to like himself. He liked this version of him that Hinata brought out with his enthusiasm for volleyball and his limitless striving for improvement. He finally felt like he belonged somewhere, no longer shunted aside by the rest of the world.

“Well, Kageyama?” Suga prompts, bringing Kageyama back to reality.

“Don’t mind Kageyama,” Tsukishima sneers. “The King probably has so many things he likes about himself he doesn’t know which one to pick.”

“Shut up, you ass,” Kageyama snaps. He pauses, scrambling for words to describe the strange warmth in his chest. But the thing is: he has never been good with words—or feelings, for that matter. That's why he was so reluctant to take part in this stupid team-bonding/group therapy session, because it’s just so many feelings and he has never been comfortable with so many feelings.

“Come on, Kageyama, don’t keep us all waiting,” Hinata whines.

But if there is one thing he’s comfortable with, it’s Hinata. It has always been Hinata. And suddenly, he has found the words he needs.

“Hinata!” Kageyama grabs him by his collar and brings his face close to the other boy’s. “I’ll toss for you, all you want!”

Hinata’s expression lights up like the sunrise above the horizon. “Really?!”

“As long as you score, of course.”

Hinata puffs up indignantly. “Of course I’ll score, Bakageyama! Just watch me!”

The rest of the team exchange bemused looks. Some of them—read: Tanaka and Nishinoya—are even rolling on the floor with laughter.

“Ka—Kageyama,” Tanaka chokes out. “You’re supposed to say something you like about _yourself!_ Offering to toss for Hinata doesn’t count—you guys do that all the time!”

 _They can laugh all they want,_  Kageyama thinks to himself.

It doesn’t matter if  _they_ don’t get it, because Hinata is looking at him with the brightest, most beautiful beam on his face. Hinata is the one who understanding him when no one else does, and that’s all that matters **.**

**Author's Note:**

> for once, i didn't get carried away and write a 7k-word one-shot for something i thought would be only 1k words at most!
> 
> please send me more requests on [tumblr!](https://hqissodelicate.tumblr.com/) the requests i'm taking now are character/pairing + a line from a song (or an entire song, if that's how you roll). go wild.
> 
> thank you for reading!


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